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Hurt boys - Injuries in the first Season

This was inspired by sargraf. I`m also stealing her hilarious phrase "Worst Aid" from the awesome Manlove metas.
It`s a shortish, humorous meta on the injuries Sam and Dean or rather Wolverine and Superman have sustained during the first Season. It also deals with the overriding storyline of the Season. The Demon? Get real, I`m talking about the Choking of Sam and the Throwing of Dean here of course. *g*
Will features Wincesty allusions, deal with it. :)



Pilot: Sam gets fingered by a hot chick. Unfortunately for him she is dead and she does it by ramming her fingers into his chest. Ouch.
Dean performs his one and only Worst Aid of the show by thumping hard against the bloody wound. Sam at least winces here.

Wendigo: Dean gets dragged of to the Wendigo`s lair and strung up like a turkey. I`m with the Wendigo in the Dean-napping here but I`d find other ways of storage. But to each their own I guess. He also sports some bandages in the end. Still trying to keep up appearances here, hm, Clark?

There is no hurting on the boys in Dead in the Water and Phantom Traveller. Well, maybe there was a mild shock for Dean in the latter. *g*
And I don`t even wanna know why the need for him to sleep on his stomach at the beginning of PT. Later on in the series he is usually on his back. Ahem, that didn`t sound right. :- p

Bloody Mary: The bleeding eyes sure looked painful. I`m guessing Mary either caused blood vessels in the eye or the brain to burst? So luckily for them, she didn`t get too far as neither brother seems to suffer any lasting damage to their eyes. And thank god for that. What would these boys be without the Bambi`s and the Puppy Dogs?

Skin: I`m guessing rope burn here for both brothers. :) Dean hurt his shoulder and Sammy got beaten to a pulp.
It also features our very first instance of Sam-choking. Yes, believe it, he doesn`t get throttled for the first five episodes. Blew me away, too.
And Dean starts a tradition of his own by yelling "Hey" at the Sam-choking entity and shooting it.

Hookman: Sam gets nicked by the nasty Hook. Ouchie. You know, Incest isn`t THAT sinful, evil Hookman-guy. : p
ETA, big thanks to stellamira for catching something I had missed: Sam gets slammed into a wall here - hey, that`s Dean`s shtick, you don`t see Dean going around and getting choked do you? - and buried under a bookcase. The fact that I didn`t even remember this only leads me to believe that he just leapt back up.

Bugs: Lets say, about one billion bee stings sound about right. And if they`d be me, they`d be dead after one. But even the average human being croaks short of a billion, I think. So we have our very first evidence of their mutant abilites. They could even shield the family. Very impressive.
Also, Dean looked a bit tired after coming out of the bar. "Playing pool" must be quite exhausting. :- D

Home: features Sam vs. the evil lamp, final score: 1:0 for the lamp
With that we also have our second case of Sam-choking. Though I gotta admit, if you`re a lamp-cord, there aren`t much things you can do in the way of killing, other than choking a person to death.
Dean seemed to at least have mercy enough not to shoot the poor possessed lamp here.
Sam also gets thrown around something fierce by the mean old Poltergeist. But beware, Momma bear is around.

Asylum: Sam gets a nasty nosebleed. And Dean gets a chest full of rocksalt. And a broken heart. But lo and behold there are NO signs whatsoever of any damage to his chest. *headdesk*
O-kay, when the girl shot the wall, it tore out a chunk of concrete. But Dean obviously wears clothing made of diamonds. Or he really, secretly is Superman. You know who`d deserve to get a chest full of rocksalt for this? The whole make-up department.

Scarecrow: Another set of rope burns for poor Dean. Also a nasty rifle to the head. Pie-eating, couple-sacrificing meanies. Your stupid village obviously can`t be worth the life AND FACE of someone as hot as Dean. *shakes head*

Faith: Dean learns a valuable lesson about water and electricity here. Ahem. Also his heart gets broken again - only this time literally. Nooooooooooo. I can barely take it figuratively.
Sam also performs some Worst Aid of his own. In the basement it is too damn dark to see anything. But after Dean fainted in the healer`s tent, Sam runs to him, grabs his collar and shakes him vigorously. Just as you`re always instructed to do to trauma patients. *g* But somehow I can`t fault him. He looks so eager to lovingly carry Dean around like a doll.

Route 666: Dean suffers from severe seizures. What do you mean, sex? I know sex. That wasn`t sex. That was an allergical reaction. Something to do with a lack of chemistry IMO.

Nightmare: Dean gets whooped by a Psychic. Sam gets whooped by being a Psychic. For real, these visions looked painful but after 5 years of seeing it with Cordelia Chase, I`ve kind of become desensitized on the matter.
There will be no talking of Dean being shot in the head, his brain splattering the wall behind him. It didn`t happen. And it will never happen. *denial*
Him being thrown into the wall hard enough to leave a big dent however did happen. I`ve seen this shit on Smallville. Leaving dents in walls is a Superman sign. *nods*

Benders: Dean gets thrown into every wall in the house, an iron skillet to the head, some more rope burns (you know, people start to crave these things if they epxerience them often enough) and a hot poker to the shoulder. Let me guess, if we ever see him shirtless again, there will be no mark whatsoever. *headdesk*
They also wanted to take his eye out with the poker. Hey, did you have another daughter, named Mary by any chance? Hands off the eyes, people, I`m telling you. *is mad*

Shadow: Again some throwing around for the whole family. Some more rope burns. :)
And Some minor facial wounds. You know the kind with flapping skin and heavy bleeding. Like when CLAWS rip you apart. I have a freaking scar on my finger from a freaking PAPER CUT. Yet these guys with there shredded faces who stitch themselves up, one assumes, have no visual remainder whatsoever from this. I give up. I know why your middle names don`t show in police files Dean `"Kal`El" Winchester and Sam"Logan" Winchester.

Hell House: I imagine certain parts of Sam would be quite red and ahem, sore. From the itching, people. Geeze. Also Dean admitted to have barely any skin left on his palm. I`ll let the line stand on its own. :)
We also have another incident of Sam-choking. But did you notice? It`s only like the third in the show. And it has been AGES since the last time. Came as a shocker to me to.

Something Wicked: Little Sammy gets drained of his life force. Good god, by the looks of that Flashback kid the Shtriga had paid him a dozen visits already. Little Dean also gets some deep scars. Psychologically speaking.
But lo and behold, we have another Sam-choking later on. Coupled with a Dean throwing. AND Dean yelling hey and shooting the Choker. Jackpot, people.

Provenance: Sam gets thrown around quite a bit. Judging by his adorkable squeak in the auction house he may or may not have needed new underwear there. *g*

Dead Man`s Blood: Another set of villains who know how it`s done. They do the Dean throwing and the Sam choking routine flawlessly. They even throw Dad for good measure. Dean`s poor lips get squished by the nasty vampire. You know, second only to the eyes, the lips are off limits too. Hands (and mouth off), skank. *mad again*

Salvation: Dean gets kinda shoved into a wall here. However since it`s of Sam`s doing, I`m not sure how averse he was to it. :)
Sam gets psychicly pummeled some more.

Devil`s Trap: Major props to demonic Cade Foster for orgininality, he didn`t try to choke Sam, not even once. Alas, the good old beating one to death approach didn`t stop Dean either from shooting him. And wow for continuity, Sam`s face really looked painful with the eye swollen shut.

Dean again gets thrown by the villain of the piece (hm, as Superman, he is kinda on the wrong end of this throwing thing). He also suffers some extensive internal bleeding here due to demonic torture of unknown kind. You know, I`m really old-fashioned, I would have gone for some shirtless whipping here. Aww, and how sweet that Sam is too tentative and worried for Worst Aid here.
The whole family ends bloodied up due to a semi crashing into the Impala. And by all the laws known to God and Man, they would be dead, dead, dead. But then we`d have no show. So expect them to have some minor bruises in the Season opener. For continuity, you know. :)

Surprising result: there are only a few incidents of Sam-choking. But since they`re mostly cluttered in the last episodes, it might have seemed a lot more. There are however a surprisingly large number of incidents of bondage fun with the brothers. Hm.
Anyway, my advice to the boys: save a physical therapist. It`s for your own good.

My advice to the monsters: try to mack on Sam. It will confuse Dean, his two instincts of "protect" and "get him laid" will be warring with each other, thus effectively stopping him. *g*
What is it about the neck anyhow? Your`re not freaking lamps, you have other means. Is there a manual somewhere in the underworld that states that Sam Winchester must be choked and Dean Winchester must be thrown into things? WTF?

Comments

( 74 have dazzled me — Dazzle me )
andromakhe001
Jul. 21st, 2006 07:22 pm (UTC)
Best one yet! :) I can't believe Sam was only choked what? 5 times? LOL
astri13
Jul. 21st, 2006 08:15 pm (UTC)
I can't believe Sam was only choked what? 5 times? LOL

I know, shocking, isn`t it? I would have predicted it happend at least in half the episodes. It became such a running gag. :)
sargraf
Jul. 22nd, 2006 04:03 pm (UTC)
Yes, believe it, he doesn`t get throttled for the first five episodes. Blew me away, too.
And Dean starts a tradition of his own by yelling "Hey" at the Sam-choking entity and shooting it.


Oh, I never caught that before; great job! :) It does seem to be so prevalent, the Sam-choking, but you're absolutely right. Most of where that "myth" comes from is from the last few episodes.

And good point about Bloody Mary. I wish they would follow through with things like that; eye trouble from BM or rock salt scars from Asylum. :/ How hard can it be for the makeup people?
astri13
Jul. 22nd, 2006 04:31 pm (UTC)
I wish they would follow through with things like that; eye trouble from BM or rock salt scars from Asylum. :/ How hard can it be for the makeup people?

One can only wonder. I mean budget-wise, was it such a tough call between this and the rubber spiders? *sigh*
The rocksalt-incident was unforgivable IMO. What, they did they wanna deal with it emotionally so little that Dean was not allowed to have physical signs of it? Because then Sam and him could ignore it more easily? There wasn`t the need to SHOW a scene of Sam helping him dress the wounds or watch it guiltily. That`s what fanfic is for.

And Sam wouldn`t have come across any better or worse in Scarecrow if Dean would have sported a big honking bandage on his chest. They could have adressed this with an offhand remark for new viewers. Hell it could have come across in their fight.
And fans knew it anyway. God, do the writers think we are that stupid we would forget?

His lack of physical scarring here really struck me as terrible laziness. Any other episode and there would have been big honking angst and blood and pain.
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stellamira
Jul. 22nd, 2006 09:16 pm (UTC)
Hehee. By all means, they really should be dead by now.

But you forgot Sam being slammed into the wall and buried under a bookcase in Hookman. Hm, didn't really see him with any back injuries, either...
astri13
Jul. 22nd, 2006 09:47 pm (UTC)
Hehee. By all means, they really should be dead by now.

Since we can safely assume, the second season won`t be about two Zombie brothers, thus letting them survive a crash with a semi, they`re firmly in X-Men-territory. :)

But you forgot Sam being slammed into the wall and buried under a bookcase in Hookman. Hm, didn't really see him with any back injuries, either...

Oh, I missed one. But it is highly atypical for Sam to be slammed into things. I mean, what`s next? Dean being choked? What`s the world coming to? *g*
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rhianne
Jul. 22nd, 2006 10:10 pm (UTC)
HOWL! Oh, this is fabulous :)
astri13
Jul. 22nd, 2006 10:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :) I appreciate the not harming of the Pretty but sometimes it is ridiculus. *cough Asylum cough*
isolde13
Jul. 23rd, 2006 12:59 am (UTC)
Ok, this? Was freaking hilarious! I laughed out loud. Lots. And I never do that on LJ. *Yeah, I know. Wierd, huh?*

But anyway...brilliant! You are now my favorite person in the universe. I'm going to go re-read now.
astri13
Jul. 23rd, 2006 08:41 am (UTC)
Thank you so much. *blushes furiously*

And may I say I love your episode reviews. "Yokels" just makes me snigger. It`s so true. And the gladiator movie reference in the PT one, hee. The co-pilot should have worn baseball shorts, then it would have been perfect. *g*
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starry_ice
Jul. 23rd, 2006 01:10 am (UTC)
LOL. This is fantastic :)

Aww, and how sweet that Sam is too tentative and worried for Worst Aid here.

I dunno about that. I think his lack of doing anything constitutes Worst Aid, since the most natural reaction to a bleeding person is to stop the bleeding. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: "Duuude, you've lost a lot of blood... but I'm going to just stand here and watch you bleed to death..." *facepalm*
astri13
Jul. 23rd, 2006 08:27 am (UTC)
Hee. Well, maybe it was this or grabbing his collar and shaking him vigorously again. So, I`ll give him a pass on this one. :)
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lizardqueen13
Jul. 23rd, 2006 02:41 am (UTC)
O-kay, when the girl shot the wall, it tore out a chunk of concrete. But Dean obviously wears clothing made of diamonds.

Dean secretly wears Mithril which secretly makes him Frodo? XD *is shot*
astri13
Jul. 23rd, 2006 08:37 am (UTC)
A-ha, another secret identity maybe? The plot thickens. :) And god, I believe you`re onto something because what`s the name of his traveling companion? SAM.



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madame_d
Jul. 23rd, 2006 03:37 am (UTC)
What do you mean, sex? I know sex. That wasn`t sex. That was an allergical reaction.

*cracks.up and falls off chair laughing* HAHAHAHA! That is awesome!
astri13
Jul. 23rd, 2006 08:35 am (UTC)
I thought that was quite a feat, ruin a sex scene with Jensen Ackles. How? Why? I have no words.
But he had a beautiful, beautiful back. :)
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iamstealthyone
Jul. 23rd, 2006 04:01 am (UTC)
ROTFLOL! I loved this!

Though I gotta admit, if you`re a lamp-cord, there aren`t much things you can do in the way of killing, other than choking a person to death.

LOL!

Little Sammy gets drained of his life force. Good god, by the looks of that Flashback kid the Shtriga had paid him a dozen visits already.

*snickers* Not the most attractive kid, was he?

It is interesting that Sam was choked less often than I thought. Hmm.

And yeah, it's ludicrous that the injuries from "Shadow" and "Asylum" left no marks on the boys.



astri13
Jul. 23rd, 2006 08:33 am (UTC)
*snickers* Not the most attractive kid, was he?

When he was in front of the TV, I was so glad to see him twitch since it meant he was still alive. :) I know it`s mean to say but that kid gave the word "special" a new meaning. *g*



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astri13
Jul. 23rd, 2006 08:31 am (UTC)
Oh it definitely is a pattern and we`ll have to wait and see how this goes on in Season 2.
But at the end of the Season, I`m guessing people would have sworn Sam-choking happened in every damn episode. It was THE running gag. :) And I knew before it did this, that wasn`t the case but I had fully expected like half the Season. So I was really surprised to find it was "only" five times. That`s not to say Sam won`t develop an asphyxiation-kink (or has done so already). *g*
antigone11
Jul. 23rd, 2006 08:09 pm (UTC)
And Dean gets a chest full of rocksalt. And a broken heart. But lo and behold there are NO signs whatsoever of any damage to his chest. *headdesk*

I've seen still shots from the production of that scene and the photos clearly show holes in Dean's shirt with red edges, so the intent was that the rock shot did damage his chest. Which makes the subsequent scene with him sleeping shirtless and showing no damage whatsoever even more inexplicable. Were there two completely different production crews for the two episodes and nobody communicated? Were the make-up people banned from the set that day? Because if I was in the make-up department, I would have threatened to go out on strike if I wasn't allowed to work on Jensen's chest. *grin*
astri13
Jul. 23rd, 2006 08:24 pm (UTC)
Because if I was in the make-up department, I would have threatened to go out on strike if I wasn't allowed to work on Jensen's chest. *grin*

Absolutely. That would have been some of the biggest perks of working on that show. ;)
Maybe the make-up people got kinda overexcited and carried away when they worked on him in Skin? Thus they were under a restraining order?

Still, if there is a person whose job is to watch out for continuity. They should be fired. If there isn`t, the job should be created. I even volunteer. :)
I can watch out for the abidance to physical laws too. Yes, Ìnsta-morning, I`m looking at you.
kbk
Jul. 25th, 2006 06:18 pm (UTC)
I was thinking about the bondage fun the other night. Um, not like that. Really. But...

Dean gets tied up five times, and gets handcuffed to an inanimate object twice (though it's a different wrist each time.)

Sam gets tied up three times, but twice of those are in Skin. And he's either with Dean or shapeshifter-looking-like-Dean.

Just saying.

Also, the scarring thing bugs me like hell (I am also a person who scars from minor things) but it makes me hope for good things with regards to the Impala. Because the other characters are going to recover from their season finale injuries; why shouldn't she?
astri13
Jul. 25th, 2006 09:38 pm (UTC)
I was thinking about the bondage fun the other night. Um, not like that. Really. But...

You say that now. *g*

Sam gets tied up three times, but twice of those are in Skin. And he's either with Dean or shapeshifter-looking-like-Dean.

Ah, so Sam is kinda monogamous in the bondage while Dean is a bit more adventurous. ;)

Apart from the asphyxiation kink Sam should have developed by now, they should also both have developed a craving for being tied up, seeing as it happens all the time.

Also, the scarring thing bugs me like hell (I am also a person who scars from minor things) but it makes me hope for good things with regards to the Impala. Because the other characters are going to recover from their season finale injuries; why shouldn't she?

Hey, I hadn`t considered this angle before. The Metallicar has superpowers too, of course it makes sense. Yay.
legoline
Jul. 26th, 2006 04:39 pm (UTC)
And Dean starts a tradition of his own by yelling "Hey" at the Sam-choking entity and shooting it.


Aaaah, a classic.

I know why your middle names don`t show in police files Dean `"Kal`El" Winchester and Sam"Logan" Winchester

Actually it should be the other way round :-p Ever really watched Wolverine? His whole manner is SO much like Dean (and he gets hrown against everything) I actually squeaked in the cinema. A wee bit. And wasn't Jared almost casted for Superman Returns or something?
astri13
Jul. 26th, 2006 06:13 pm (UTC)
True Logan is more the gruff manly man. Dean would be more similar to Batman IMO than to Superman.

(and he gets hrown against everything)

Hee. Typical Dean.

And wasn't Jared almost casted for Superman Returns or something?

Didn`t hear that. I think every young actor in Hollywood tried out for the role.
Someone speculated they might use Tom Welling and have a little tie-in with the show.
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chainer_morgana
Aug. 1st, 2006 01:14 pm (UTC)
ahahaha great!
wow, really only 5 times chocked!Sam? I'm shocked, I was sure there were a lot more, lol..
first time a friend asked me what was SN about I simply answered: a guy (sam) beaten everytime but who has less scars than me when I play with my cat and his bro who's shoved against everything 'coz he's so sexy landing with his legs open...obviously at the end he has no bruises too...
rotfl

uh, about Benders don't forget the little girl sticking a little knife in dean's thigh/crotch and Dean simply take it out and forget about it..I can assure you he shouldn't use his leg like that during the fight about...one minute later ;) ( I can't remember about bleeding...)

lol thanks again for that injuries review ;)
and yes, sorry for the comment, a friend just linked me your lj and I couldn't shut up ;)
astri13
Aug. 1st, 2006 01:41 pm (UTC)
uh, about Benders don't forget the little girl sticking a little knife in dean's thigh/crotch and Dean simply take it out and forget about it..I can assure you he shouldn't use his leg like that during the fight about...one minute later ;) ( I can't remember about bleeding...)

I rewatched it a couple of times and I`m pretty sure the knife only penetrated his jacket. Otherwise it would be another point for Super!Dean since he didn`t even scream or showed any pain. And there was no bleeding at all.
But it really stuck close to a very sensible are, didn`t it. *g*

and yes, sorry for the comment, a friend just linked me your lj and I couldn't shut up ;)

No, don`t be sorry. *hugs* I love getting comments and hearing people`s opinions. And I love talking meta-y about the show. With most of my friends I can hardly get a "yeah, was a good episode" out of them. And I`m like: "give me mooooooore."
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