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Ficlet: A Cheesy life

Earlier, a friend came by to visit and since she used to teach English, I immediately pawned this off on her to look over. Therefore by popular demand I already present the sequel to Dreams are made of cheese. Thankfully it`s short but my headache doesn`t let me concentrate on my longer pieces anyhow. Cut if out, little men in my head, cut it out.
A companion ficlet from Jensen`s POV will follow. Sometime.

Title: A cheesy life
Author: astri13
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Genre: RPS AU
Rating: R for non-graphic sex
Word Count: ~ 1.000
Disclaimer: Don`t own the guys, sadly. No copyright infringement intended.
Notes: Sequel to Dreams are made of cheese so it might be better to read that first. Still pure crack. :)
Credit goes to c_ntbucket for inspiration on the broom-image. :)

Summary: After the change Jared has to adapt to his new life. Thankfully Jensen is there to make it better.

It had been two months since the transformation, and Jared quite enjoyed life as a human. Rooming with his beloved Jensen was even better now that Jensen acknowledged his presence above a "hey buddy."

Of course Jensen had been freaked out at first, but he'd quickly gotten used to having Jared around. His kindness and infinite patience with Jared only made Jared fall for him more. And Jared learned so much more about Jensen since they could actually talk to each other now. Not to mention the sex. Jared loved the sex.

The fairy had done a kick-ass job with his human body because not only did Jared believe it was awesome in and of itself, but it also seemed designed to perfectly
interlock with Jensen's body. Though Jensen sometimes complained about Jared being fucking huge, which Jared was confused about since Jensen seemed to like it when they were together and only complained afterwards when Jensen was walking funny. Jared just filed it away at humans being odd sometimes.

The awesomeness of Jared's body posited a little problem in that Jared couldn't quite grasp the necessity to dress himself. Sure, the lack of fur was a bit disconcerting, but wouldn't it be a shame to hide this great body under layers of clothing? He grudgingly did it because Jensen had asked him to, and Jared would do anything for Jensen. Still, once Jensen left the apartment in the morning Jared took off all the constricting clothes.

One day the mean landlord who'd given Jared's little mouse-self so much trouble came by, and Jared had opened the door in all his naked glory. Jared didn't know how to describe the reaction exactly, but it sure wasn't the "I'm going to set the exterminator on your ass, vermin" look. Also, the man now had to look up to Jared, which gave Jared a sense of grim satisfaction.

Another great thing Jared had discovered about his new body was the use of fingers. Within two days he had learned to operate all the machines in the kitchen, except the dishwasher because that didn't have anything to do with food. But with the stove, toaster or microwave Jared was already an old pro. Though his favourite was still the fridge. You just had to open it to take out all the food you could eat. At least in theory because Jared had realized that his appetite had grown exponentially with his body-size.

The other machine Jared really liked was the TV. Of course he'd watched TV before, hidden from behind the couch leg as to not announce his presence to his jerky former roommates. And he'd had to scurry to safety whenever he'd been spotted. Now though, Jared could actually stretch out on the couch, turn on the TV himself and choose what he wanted to watch.

All in all life was great. There were, however, a few minor hurdles to overcome.

On the very first walk Jared bravely took in the outside world - accompanied by Jensen of course - they encountered the most terrifying monster of all, a cat. Jared panicked and jumped onto Jensen's back, begging Jensen to protect him from the beast. There might have also been loud squeaking noises involved, which were acceptable for a mouse but apparently not so much for a tall human male. All around them, people stared, some laughed at him and poor Jared felt humiliated. Thankfully Jensen was very understanding and led Jared back to their apartment, comforting him.

Also, Jared was a bit apprehensive about the shower with its running water. At first he tried to clean himself as he'd always done but to his great chagrin discovered his tongue couldn't reach every part of his body anymore to do it properly. And Jared thought Jensen had looked a bit freaked when, one time, he'd walked in on Jared trying. So Jared had given the shower a go - and found he really liked it. Especially when Jensen joined him under the spray and they would soap each other up.

Then there was the broom, which still scared Jared even though it couldn't really hurt him anymore. Every time Jensen swept the floor, Jared went to the bedroom and hid under the covers till it was over. Sometimes Jensen joined him under the covers later, telling him it was okay. He would soothe Jared by stroking his shaggy brown hair and Jared would give tiny, squealing sounds.

Their biggest problem - as Jared understood it - was money. Jared didn't know exactly what that was, but Jensen had told him money was needed to buy food and other things. They also had to give it to the mean landlord so he let them stay in the apartment. Money was the reason Jensen had to go off in the mornings and leave Jared alone for most of the day. And why he was looking so tired all the time.

Jared wanted to help with the money, and Jensen had explained that you needed a job to earn money. Jared had to think about this. He had been a stay-at-home-mouse all his life so he wouldn't even know what kinds of human jobs he could do. Upon Jensen's question what he liked to do, Jared had truthfully named his two favourite pastimes: eat (cheese) and have sex. He then inquired if there were jobs where he could do either. Jensen got very quiet at that for a while and then proposed something food-related.

For a moment, Jared considered calling back the fairy and asking her for money but that would probably be pushing it. And he didn't want to find out what a fairy did once you made her angry. Maybe she'd turn him back into a mouse and Jared wouldn't have that. Nope, he figured he had to get one of these jobs sooner or later, and until then he'd just do his part around the house by cheering up Jensen with lots and lots of great sex.

* * *

More on Mouse!Jared`s adventures in A Cheesy Job


( 59 have dazzled me — Dazzle me )
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Sep. 8th, 2007 07:16 pm (UTC)
A Cheesy Life
Heh, this idea is so funny, so much humor in mouse!Jared's take on everyday human life. Cute how squeeky afraid he is of cats and brooms and such, and what human jobs he might be qualified for/interested in. Enjoyed chap 1 also, glad commentators urged you on to more. Wouldn't mind even more exploration of mouse!Jared's views on the human workday world. :)
Sep. 8th, 2007 07:57 pm (UTC)
Re: A Cheesy Life
Wouldn't mind even more exploration of mouse!Jared's views on the human workday world. :)

Heh. I`m thinking he might have to reconsider his ideas about clothes. :)

Thank you so much. Glad you liked it.
Re: A Cheesy Life - pbwhisperer - Sep. 9th, 2007 02:34 am (UTC) - Expand
Sep. 8th, 2007 07:41 pm (UTC)
I love Mouse!Jared! It makes me exponentially happy. My favourite part was with the broom and his fear of it - absolutely adorable! Oh, I love this so much. Yay! =]
Sep. 8th, 2007 07:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you muchly. Mouse!Jared makes me want to pet him. :)
I can`t take full credit for the broom idea since a commenter came up with it on the other fic but the image was just so cute and fitting for a former mouse.
Sep. 8th, 2007 07:52 pm (UTC)
Poor Mouse!Jarad, scared of the broom!
And the mouse. And yis, cheer Jensen up with *lots* of sex.
Sep. 8th, 2007 08:01 pm (UTC)
Heh. I figured FormerMouse!Jared would have slight adaption issues but on the whole he seemed to have gotten the most important parts, sex with Jensen. :)
Thank you so much for reading and commenting.
Sep. 8th, 2007 08:19 pm (UTC)
This whole idea is just too hysterical for words. When he jumped behind him at the sight of the cat and hid under the covers from the broom, I almost choked from laughing so hard! Thanks to that pain medication, you know you've got a verse on your hands now right? We want more Cheese please!
Sep. 8th, 2007 08:38 pm (UTC)
Oh dear, I`ve created a monster. :) Thank you muchly. Glad you liked it.
Sep. 8th, 2007 08:26 pm (UTC)
Lots and lots of great sex. Glad he has his priorties straigh. Excellent. :)
Sep. 8th, 2007 08:38 pm (UTC)
Well, he clearly is a clever (former) mouse. :) Thank you so much.
Sep. 8th, 2007 08:43 pm (UTC)
i freakin love this.
jared turning into a human was the best thing that could have happened.
jensen makes me smile.

lovely. :)

thank you for the crack! i'm pretty sure i needed it. :)
Sep. 8th, 2007 08:52 pm (UTC)
jared turning into a human was the best thing that could have happened.

Yup. I think Jensen would have a hard time of it adapting to mouse-life. :)

Glad you liked it. Thank you muchly.
Sep. 8th, 2007 09:23 pm (UTC)
Yeah! I love this ^_^ I'm glad that you changed Jared into a human though because we all know Jared and Jensen have to be together and together means sex and sex means together ... Mice and human sex is kinda ... Yeah I won't go there *shudders* ... *thinks about it* ...

Yeah *cough* I completely understand this all now! So awesome and actually kinda cracky genius! I get the picture of the fairy from Cinderella in my head when I read this *grins* Totally awesome <3
Sep. 8th, 2007 10:24 pm (UTC)
Mice and human sex is kinda ... Yeah I won't go there *shudders* ... *thinks about it* ...

Hee. It just doesn`t seem very pretty or relaxing, does it? :)

I get the picture of the fairy from Cinderella in my head when I read this *grins*

This is so funny because I pictured her. And I pictured Jared as one of the sweet, little mice helping Cinderella out. *g*

Thank you so much.
Sep. 8th, 2007 09:48 pm (UTC)
I love mouse!Jared! It was great!! It's still making me smile! You keep on writing, I'll keep on reading! Isn't it a nice deal?
Sep. 8th, 2007 10:26 pm (UTC)
*nod nod* It totally is. Will have to see when Mouse!Jared shows up in my brain again. :)
Thank you greatly.

Sep. 8th, 2007 11:00 pm (UTC)
yahahah!!! my plan of intimidation worked. but there must be more, more i tell you. this is just too freaking adorable and that bit about jared and the jobs cracked me up. brilliant but like i said MORE!!!
Sep. 9th, 2007 10:53 am (UTC)
Heh. I fold easily to pressure, I`m afraid. :) But thank you so much.
Sep. 9th, 2007 12:13 am (UTC)
That was excellent darl.
It was seriously hilarious and made me laugh all the way through.
My favourite line was "Upon Jensen's question what he liked to do, Jared had truthfully named his two favourite pastimes: eat (cheese) and have sex."
Sep. 9th, 2007 10:54 am (UTC)
Hee. Mouse!Jared has got his priorities straight even though they might be a bit little odd career-wise. :) Thank you greatly.
Sep. 9th, 2007 12:25 am (UTC)
Mouse Jared is back :)
I couldn't click on the link fast enough when I saw this update! and my god, the cracklicious adventures of former Mouse Jared continues :D. This line had me laughing:

"The awesomeness of Jared's body posited a little problem in that Jared couldn't quite grasp the necessity to dress himself. Sure, the lack of fur was a bit disconcerting, but wouldn't it be a shame to hide this great body under layers of clothing?"

with a body like Jared's, why hide it!

This is just too good for it to end here! May I have some more Please? (Pretty please with lots of cherry on top with whipped cream!)

Sep. 9th, 2007 10:55 am (UTC)
Re: Mouse Jared is back :)
Oh dear, I`ve created a monster. :) But I`m thrilled you`re digging it. Thank you muchly.
Sep. 9th, 2007 12:45 am (UTC)
The mental images of huge Jared squeaking and hiding are just incredibly adorable. Heeee!
Sep. 9th, 2007 10:56 am (UTC)
Isn`t it just? At first I wanted him to jump into Jensen`s arms but then I thought that it might topple Jensen over so I went with the back-jump. :) Thank you so much.
(Deleted comment)
Sep. 9th, 2007 10:57 am (UTC)
I`ve started on the Jensen one so hopefully it won`t be too long. Thank you so much. I`m glad you liked this one as well.
Sep. 9th, 2007 02:13 am (UTC)
Now all I have to is find their apartment and knock. It's all bubbly and cuddly I just want to squish them both. Jared for being formerly a mouse and Jensen for being Jensen *squeezes*
Sep. 9th, 2007 10:58 am (UTC)
Heh. It`s a secret apartment, the better to contain Jared`s hotness. :) Thank you muchly.
Sep. 9th, 2007 04:46 am (UTC)
MORE! *shakes fist*
Sep. 9th, 2007 10:59 am (UTC)
Wah, I`ve created a monster. :) Thank you so much. Glad you`re liking it.
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( 59 have dazzled me — Dazzle me )



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