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Fic: Dreams are made of cheese

Title: Dreams are made of cheese
Author: astri13
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Genre: RPS AU
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~ 1.000
Disclaimer: Don`t own the guys, sadly. No copyright infringement intended.
Notes: Me + pain medication = one-shot of extreme crack, people. J
Summary: Jared has a new roommate he's head over heels with. But there is one small problem. Do fairytales still come true?




Jared had lived in the tiny, rundown apartment for as long as he could remember. In this time he'd had a lot of roommates, most of them jerks. If Jared did so much as eat from their food or set foot in their room, he got yelled at. One had even thrown a shoe at him. Normally Jared wouldn't put up with this but he couldn't afford the apartment on his own, and the landlord didn't care much what he wanted. The man had tried to evict him more than once already.

Now a new tenant had moved in, and this one was different. His name was Jensen, and Jared had taken an instant liking to him when, upon seeing Jared partaking in his spaghetti, he had not yelled but merely heaved a sigh and let Jared be. From then on Jensen sometimes left a plate out for Jared to feast from. Jensen was a really good cook, and Jared greatly appreciated it.

Jensen was also very good-looking. Once Jared had accidentally stumbled into the bathroom while Jensen had been under the shower and wow, what a body. Luckily Jensen hadn't seen him - Jared would have died from embarrassment - and Jared had quickly retreated back to the safety of his own room, his dreams filled with images of Jensen.

Jared was worried about Jensen though. The man was clearly working too hard. He came home everyday dead tired, and dark circles had formed under his eyes. Jared tried to help out, keep the apartment neat and tidy at least. Unfortunately he was a bit clumsy, and often he did more harm than good. Jensen never yelled at him though. In fact Jensen hardly spoke to him, which saddened Jared. There he was, head over heels for the guy, and Jensen didn't seem to notice.

One night Jensen didn't come home alone. He brought a date, and Jared was horrified. The guy clearly wasn't good enough for Jensen. He just kept pawing at him and ignored Jensen's attempts to carry on a conversation. At first Jared tried to get him to leave, he hung around the living room and did his best to signal "you're not welcome here, dude."

The guy reacted like a first class priss, yelling at Jared, and Jensen had to calm him down. With pride Jared noted the guy had looked a tiny bit afraid of him. When Jensen and his date retreated to Jensen's room, however, Jared went to his own. He threw himself down on the floor and covered his ears against the noises coming from Jensen's room. Unfortunately the walls were paper-thin and sound carried quite well. Jared curled in on himself and sniffled.

When Jensen went to work the next morning, taking his date with him, Jared finally came out of his room. He stood before a framed picture of Jensen and his family that Jensen had put up and looked at Jensen's face longingly. Jared knew he had to leave. He just couldn't bear the thought of seeing Jensen with someone else, picturing them laughing and in love.

Fat tears ran down his little mouse face at the thought of never seeing Jensen again. Not to mention fear of leaving his only home. Jared trembled at the thought of the outside world. But it had to be.

Then it happened, a blinding white light filled the room, soon to be replaced by the shape of a woman. Jared was too polite to call someone fat but she could have stood to miss a few meals, he thought.

Yet she smiled at him, and Jared couldn't help liking her. "Your sadness touched me, boy, and I'll come to grant you one wish."

Jared's eyes bulged. "You're a…fairy?"

"Yes, boy, I am."

"But…but fairies don't exist," Jared stumbled.

Her eyes narrowed. "I assure you they do. So, I don't have all day here. Do you have a wish or not?"

Jared nodded vigorously. "Yes, I wanna be with Jensen."

She rolled her eyes. "Who would have thought? What I meant was, do you wish for you to be like him or him to be like you?"

Jared frowned. Of course he knew Jensen and him were different. But what did such minor details matter in the face of true love? He did acknowledge that especially the height difference might pose a bit of a problem, though, so maybe the fairy had a point. And he still couldn't believe it, a motherfucking --

She reached out with her little wand and whacked him on the head lightly. "Don't curse."

Great, a fairy that could read minds, Jared thought. "I…I'm sorry. But this is a big decision. I don't want to rush anything," he explained. His mind raced. Should he wish for Jensen to be like him, Jensen wouldn't have to go to work anymore and be tired all the time. And Jared was confidant that Jensen would make a most beautiful mouse.

On the other hand they would probably get a new tenant in the apartment who would throw shoes at them both and call them ugly and unclean. Jared didn't mind so much anymore, even though it wasn't true at all as he cleaned himself daily. But he couldn't bear the thought of someone calling Jensen ugly. Jensen was so sensitive, and Jared didn't want him hurt.

But being like Jensen? Jared had never imagined. He could open the heavy fridge door by himself and take out all the cheese he could eat. He could even take a peak outside without having to be terrified because he was small and couldn't defend himself so well. He wondered how tall he would get if the fairy made him like Jensen? He kinda wished it would be really, really tall.

Full of determination Jared looked at the fairy. "Make me like Jensen, please."

"As you wish." And then the wand touched Jared again, and for a second he felt a terrible pain. Then everything turned black.

When Jensen came home that day he saw a gorgeous, six foot five inch giant, blissfully munching on cheese, on his couch. Naked.

After he'd gotten over the first shock Jensen found he didn't really mind so much. And Jared was definitely glad about his decision. Mice just weren't that flexible.

- The End -


But Mouse!Jared will return in A Cheesy Life

Comments

( 79 have dazzled me — Dazzle me )
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c_ntbucket
Sep. 7th, 2007 01:07 pm (UTC)
Lol.
Are you going to write more of this??
I seriously encourage you to take more pain medication and continue this fic.
I love the pure crackiness of it, tis brilliant.
astri13
Sep. 7th, 2007 03:20 pm (UTC)
Hee. This was intended as pure one-shot but never say never is my motto. Maybe it would be fun to see how former mouse Jared adapts to life. :)
Thank you so much.
(no subject) - c_ntbucket - Sep. 8th, 2007 01:00 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - astri13 - Sep. 8th, 2007 11:30 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - astri13 - Sep. 8th, 2007 07:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - c_ntbucket - Sep. 8th, 2007 11:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - dare_to_dream06 - Sep. 7th, 2007 08:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - c_ntbucket - Sep. 8th, 2007 01:02 am (UTC) - Expand
embroiderama
Sep. 7th, 2007 01:07 pm (UTC)
*GLEE* This just put a big smile on my face--I love it!
astri13
Sep. 7th, 2007 03:21 pm (UTC)
And reading that puts a big goofy grin on my face. Thank you muchly. :)
katie__pillar
Sep. 7th, 2007 01:17 pm (UTC)
That last line killed me. Cracktacular.
astri13
Sep. 7th, 2007 03:21 pm (UTC)
Hee. I needed a naughty little ending and this seemed fitting. :) Thank you so much.
apieceofcake
Sep. 7th, 2007 01:53 pm (UTC)
LOL! :-)
astri13
Sep. 7th, 2007 03:22 pm (UTC)
Heh. Glad you liked, thank you muchly. :)
quarterwhore
Sep. 7th, 2007 02:03 pm (UTC)
OMG YES!!!!! *faints*
astri13
Sep. 7th, 2007 03:23 pm (UTC)
Hee. Mouse!Jared advises eating cheese against fainting. :) Thank you so much.

kalimai
Sep. 7th, 2007 03:01 pm (UTC)
That was wonderful!! You need to double your prescription and write more!
astri13
Sep. 7th, 2007 03:24 pm (UTC)
Double my dose? Oh dear, who knows what kind of crack that will lead to. :) Thank you so much. I`m glad you enjoyed it.
(Anonymous)
Sep. 7th, 2007 03:17 pm (UTC)
Too adorable!
At first, i didn't get the fairy's question and then finally at the end, i realised Jared was a mouse! (before the transformation). There was nothing that gave away that he was a mouse in the story (or I'm just slow on the uptake...hmm), and that, I think is brilliant writing.

I wonder if sequel is a possibility?? (crossing fingers)

Thank you for sharing this!
astri13
Sep. 7th, 2007 03:27 pm (UTC)
Re: Too adorable!
Hee. That`s a great compliment. I tried my best to not make Mouse!Jared so obvious so I`m overjoyed it worked. And everything really started on this image of a sad little Jared!Mouse sitting on front of Jensen`s picture and gazing at it lovingly. :)
Thank you muchly.

Sequel? Well as I said, I`m off the never say never school. :D
lapdogdesign
Sep. 7th, 2007 03:33 pm (UTC)
Awesome! You really had me until you mentioned Jared's "mouse face" -- then I had to immediately reread the beginning of the story. Great subtle reveal of the twist.

Fun, fun, fun. Well done crack is the best crack of all the crack. :D
astri13
Sep. 7th, 2007 03:58 pm (UTC)
then I had to immediately reread the beginning of the story. Great subtle reveal of the twist.

Yay, it worked. *dances* I tried my best to keep Jared "mousidentity" under wraps until that point. :)
Thank you so much.


constantbedhead
Sep. 7th, 2007 04:17 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHA. Oh my gosh! There HAS to be more soon! This is great and hysterical! Aww. Mouse!Jared. And a Fairy. HAHA. I love it.
astri13
Sep. 7th, 2007 05:06 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much. Mouse!Jared just showed up in my head today and demanded I write this. :)
jellicle
Sep. 7th, 2007 04:28 pm (UTC)
That was crackalicious!
astri13
Sep. 7th, 2007 05:06 pm (UTC)
Whee. Glad you liked it. Thank you muchly. :)
tabaqui
Sep. 7th, 2007 06:23 pm (UTC)
Oooooooh, Jared!Mouse. That's so damn sweet.
:)
astri13
Sep. 7th, 2007 06:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much. The idea of Jared as a wee mouse was just too cute to pass up. :)
sauvageonne
Sep. 7th, 2007 07:52 pm (UTC)
OH MY, Teh CRACK !!!
Your pain medication is good stuff for your muse !!!
astri13
Sep. 7th, 2007 08:34 pm (UTC)
Hee. My muse still feels slightly stoned. :) Thank you muchly.
1tinkerbell
Sep. 7th, 2007 07:57 pm (UTC)
LMAO!!! oh ya please write more this was great!
astri13
Sep. 7th, 2007 08:35 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much. I`m glad you liked it. As for more, well, never say never. :)
supernatrlfreak
Sep. 7th, 2007 09:18 pm (UTC)
This was just pure genuis! I hop on the bandwagon of you have to write more in the verse.
astri13
Sep. 7th, 2007 09:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you muchly. I`ll see if FormerMouse!Jared speaks to me again. :)
(Deleted comment)
astri13
Sep. 7th, 2007 09:38 pm (UTC)
Wow. I think my ego just doubled in size. :) Thank you so much.
I`m just happy you enjoyed the adaventures of Mouse!Jared and his unrequited love even though it`s so cracky. *dances*
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( 79 have dazzled me — Dazzle me )

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